More Random Musings on Conversion

As I get closer to the day where I'm received into the Episcopal Church, I have been reflecting on the journey I'm on and where it is taking me. This post might come off a little emo and will definitely sound different than people are used to hearing from me. It is where I am today and I think it will be good to let it out. Oh, and before we begin, a lot of what I learned in the Catholic Church is what I learned from a Catholic Grammar School. I know folks who didn't have 5 days a week of Religious Ed in the early days have a different opinion. I've had problems over the separating the two.
I have learned that I'm more then I've every thought I was. Where I have not have always been the man I should be, that can change. As I've taken step to try and change that, I have a level of confidence that I've never had before.
In Catholicism, I learned that I was created to "Love God and Serve God in this lifetime and the life that comes afterwards" (or words to that effect, don't have a copy of the Baltimore Catechism on me). In the Episcopal Church, I've learned that God made me because he loved me. Which has made a major difference in my life. Yes, Serving Him is still in the equation but this isn't the reason I was created In my head, if God created me only to Love and Serve Him, it's rather egotistical. Also any Sci-Fan fan will tell you that giving free will to a creation designed to serve generally doesn't work out well (see The Terminator, or most of Asimov's Robot novels).
In many respects, I feel better about me, I feel closer to God and for today that's all that matters.